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Aug. 21, 2020

How to help your child cope with the transition back to school during COVID-19

Parents can use coping-focused language to promote things going well, write Jessica Cooke, Nicole Racine, and Sheri Madigan, Faculty of Arts, in Conversation Canada
How to help your child cope with the transition back to school during COVID-19

Every fall, parents are tasked with managing back-to-school transitions. Usually this means shopping for or gathering school supplies or seasonal clothes, registering for activities or helping children manage back-to-school excitement or worries. But with聽.

Our research shows that due to COVID-19,听听补苍诲听聽are experiencing greater levels of anxiety and stress. With聽聽and sometimes聽聽about the process, these feelings of uncertainty may increase.

Parents and children may feel聽,听听补苍诲听.

While levels of anxiety and stress may be high, parents play an influential role in helping children cope, encouraging a positive back-to-school transition and helping to reduce children鈥檚 anxiety and worries.

Have honest and open discussions

In psychology, we use the phrase, 鈥溾 to describe how avoiding important discussions can actually lead to more persistent feelings of anxiety in children.

It鈥檚 important to have聽聽and its implications for returning to school. Tailor the depth and breadth of conversations based on聽聽and maturity level.

For example, with a younger child in grades 1 to 3, you could spend some time talking about what might look different this year. Their class size may be smaller and teachers and educators聽. Extra-curricular activities or regular school activities () might be cancelled.

For older children, you could ask if there are specific things they are worried or concerned about, and talk these through with them.

You can help children and youth identify their role in staying safe 鈥 such as avoiding touching their face, washing their hands or using hand-sanitizer and keeping their distance from others. Use coping-focused language that emphasizes the active role that children, youth and adults are taking to make sure things go well (following instructions, engaging in good hygiene), rather than focusing on things that are out of their control (like if a student gets COVID-19).

Parents can help children and youth identify their role in staying safe.

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Name fears to tame fears

As child clinicians, we often encourage parents to use the 鈥溾 strategy. First, parents can help their child identify their concerns by asking them what they鈥檙e worried about. Then, parents can help their child 鈥渘ame鈥 the worry or concern by labelling it. For example, younger children might name their fear the Worry Monster. Simply labelling the emotion as anxiety can be helpful for older children and teenagers.

Naming the worry often helps tame the fear by helping children build understanding about what they鈥檙e feeling. It also gives parents and children a common emotion language that can be used in future discussions, and provides an opportunity for parents to provide emotional support and coping strategies. These strategies include deep breathing and using coping-focused language like: 鈥淚 feel better when I talk about my worries.鈥

Children often want reassurance their fears won鈥檛 come true. It may be tempting for parents to say 鈥淓verything will be OK!鈥 or 鈥淣o one will get sick!鈥 But such聽. They can also prevent children from taking COVID-19 preventative measures (like social distancing) as they may perceive the risk to be low or non-existent.

Acknowledge and support your child in the discomfort that there are some things that may be out of our control, and that it鈥檚 best to focus on what we can control.

Listen, validate, help to problem-solve

When your child expresses (or demonstrates) they鈥檙e struggling, start by聽. Put devices away, so you can provide undivided attention. Then, try聽聽by making a caring statement that reflects what they just said, such as: 鈥淚 can understand why you feel worried about returning to school, especially when there are so many changes happening because of COVID-19.鈥 Identifying reasons why your child might be feeling worried or anxious will make them feel understood.

Help your child face their fears by promoting problem-solving. Together, identify a few possible solutions and then help them identify which solution seems best. You can discuss different options or role-play solutions to help your child build confidence. Encourage your child to try out the solution in real life and discuss whether or not it worked. If not, try picking a different solution to test!

Focus on things going well

It鈥檚 important to acknowledge children鈥檚 worries and anxieties, but parents should also motivate their children to focus on the things they might be looking forward to. Children are likely excited to see friends, peers or teachers in person. They may positively anticipate a daily school routine and take pride in their role as a student or in minimizing COVID-related risks.

Before school starts, you can ask, 鈥淲hat are you looking forward to on your first day of school?鈥 or 鈥淲hat have you missed about school?鈥 Once school starts, you can ask: 鈥淲hat was the best thing that happened today?鈥

Before or after school, engage your child in planned or shared activities.

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Build a predictable routine

Usually, things we can control makes us feel safe because they are predictable, while things that fall out of our control can lead to feelings of anxiety because they are unpredictable.

One way parents can help children build feelings of safety and security during COVID-19 is by creating a predictable daily routine, beginning with consistent times for meals,听.

Before or after school, engage your child in planned, shared activities like making breakfast, reading together or going to the park.

Model calm behaviour

It鈥檚 OK for parents to feel uncertain and worried. However, as much as possible, try to model calm and confident attitudes about returning to school for your child and use cheerful, positive messages when saying goodbye, and empathy when responding to tantrums, protests or crying.

Research suggests that聽.

Parents who care for their own well-being and mental health are better able to care for their children鈥檚 鈥 so be kind to yourself and seek out those you can turn to when you are struggling or troubled by these unprecedented circumstances. You can also聽.

While this year鈥檚 transition back to school is different, we can help children feel optimistic by listening to and validating their worries, teaching them coping strategies, reviewing safety protocols and supporting them when they find things difficult. Ultimately, our kids need us to lead the way for a successful back-to-school transition and to develop the lifelong skills they need for navigating challenges.